Pokerstars: “I Hate Hamburgers”

Bill, Laura, Bridget, and I went to lunch at The ‘O the other day for lunch. We all ordered, sat down, retrieved our food, and commenced grazing. I got about halfway through my burger when I notice it was pink in the middle, I immediately flipped it around and tore it open to find that the entire back side was not cooked. It was a gummy Play-Doh™ consistency that was less than appetizing. Obviously I wasn’t going to eat it and risk getting a tapeworm… or worse.

I took the burger back up to the grill area and after a few moments got the attention of the guy running the grill. I had noticed his Pokerstars.com hat while we were waiting in line earlier and immediately thought of wathing poker on The Ocho and how much cooler those guys looked. I finally got the attention of the guy and said, “Any chance you can throw this back on the grill for me? It’s raw.” and I showed it to him.

He looked at it in irritation and said, “No. I’m really backed up.“

I was in shock that he would have denied me this courtesy. The cashier, apparently also the manager, said to the guy, “I told you to run them through the flamer! You gotta make sure they are cooked!“

“You told me to do it the other way!” said Pokerstars.

“You have to make sure they are cooked the whole way through!.” said the manager.

Pokerstars threw the spatula into the air. It arced across the grill and bounced off the flame-broiler. “Fine!! You don’t like the way I do it?? I quit!!.” He took off his hat and stormed out.

“Fine! Don’t come back!!” screeched the manager.

Everyone in line was flabbergasted. I was in awe of what had just happened. I’m pretty sure that my request started a chain reaction of unemployment entertainment. I was amazed. The line was already really long and without someone at the grill, it was only going to be longer. Manager guy started turning double duty, wheeling back and forth between the grill and the cash register. I felt bad for the guy.

As I walked away, the manager called me back, “What’d you have on that burger?”

“Mustard,” I said. I walked back to our table, grinning, ready to relay the story to my crew.