TRANSCRIPT: Verizon Online Tech Support

This should’ve taken 10 minutes t' give me me username and password, pass the grog! Instead it turned into a one hour ordeal. Transcript below:

Welcome t' Verizon Live Chat.
Question: PPPoE login information lost.

12:58:26 A Verizon Service Representative will be with ye shortly. Thank ye.
12:58:46 Agent Venkatesh has joined.
12:58:46 Venkatesh : Chat ID fer this session is [REDACTED]

Venkatesh: Thank ye fer contactin' Verizon Live Chat. My name is Venkatesh and it is me goal t' provide ye with outstandin' service.
Venkatesh: Hi, how are ye doin' today?
AxsDeny: Fine, thanks.
Venkatesh: For verification purpose, I would request ye t' provide us th' followin' information before we start: – Is yer DSL Number [REDACTED]? Yaaarrrrr! – Your first and last name. Fire the cannons! – May I know th' Operatin' System (Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 2000 or Macintosh) that ye have?
AxsDeny: 1) Aye
AxsDeny: 2) AxsDeny (account name is [REDACTED])
AxsDeny: 3) That’s irrelevent
Venkatesh: May I know th' Operatin' System (Windows XP, Windows Vista, Windows 2000 or Macintosh) that ye have?
AxsDeny: All I need is me PPPoE DSL username and a password so I can set up me wireless router
AxsDeny: I’m connectin' via a web browser. This is not an operatin' system issue.
Venkatesh: May I have yer preferred Email address and also th' preferred callback number t' reach ye in case we need t'? Also confirm if this number accepts incomin' calls from 800 or toll free numbers.
AxsDeny: FTR, I’m on Windows XP via a virtualized session in VMWare
AxsDeny: callback: [REDACTED] (i’ve already been disconnected twice from tech support)
AxsDeny: preferred email address is [REDACTED]
AxsDeny: Please dern't transfer me t' someone else.
Venkatesh: In case ye get disconnected,I would request ye, please contact t' our DSL Technical Support Department as they would assist ye in better way, at toll free number 800-567-6789 Voice Prompt – “DSL Technical Support” They are available 24×7
AxsDeny: I did that. Aarrr! Shiver me timbers! The phone tree disconnected me.
Venkatesh: As I reckon yer concern correctly, ye forgot yer user name and password and not able t' sign in t' yer account. Walk the plank! Fire the cannons! Am I correct, Mr. AxsDeny?
AxsDeny: Not quite.
AxsDeny: I can log in t' me verizon email account via th' web interface.
AxsDeny: What I need, is th' login credentials fer connectin' t' th' DSL service
Venkatesh: I apologize fer th' inconvenience caused t' ye. However, I will try me best t' fix it.
Venkatesh: May I know, ye connected yer computer t' th' modem?
AxsDeny: When I were bein' troubleshootin' originally I did, yes. Then I realized that I were bein' missin' th' username and password, pass the grog! Currently th' modem is connected t' a wireless router. Ahoy! And swab the deck! It won’t establish an IP via DHCP, so I assume (since DSL is PPPoE) that I need me username and password t' be entered.
Venkatesh: You are correct. You require t' enter user name and password t' go on line.
AxsDeny: Aye! I need that information. 🙂
Venkatesh: The same is also required t' be saved in th' modem.
AxsDeny: My modem has ne'er required that information.
Venkatesh: For th' privacy and security o' yer account, may I please know yer complete billin' address with Zip Code?
AxsDeny: I got th' modem in 2001 and it doesn’t have a user configurable interface
Venkatesh: May I know, th' make and model o' th' modem?
AxsDeny: Westell B90-36R515-01 (Revision F)
Venkatesh: May I know, th' name o' th' account holder and yer relationship with?
AxsDeny: I already gave ye that info.
Venkatesh: I apologize that we dern't keep yer customers’ passsword. May I know, ye remember answer o' yer secret question?
AxsDeny: What’s th' question?
Venkatesh: You will get it on th' page.
Venkatesh: Please open verizon page and enter th' user name.
AxsDeny: That’s part o' th' problem.
AxsDeny: I don’t even know th' user name
Venkatesh: Then click on forgot password.
Venkatesh: [REDACTED] is th' user name.
AxsDeny: What email address should i use?
Venkatesh: [REDACTED]
AxsDeny: Okay.
AxsDeny: When I click on Forgot Password, I enter th' username [REDACTED]
AxsDeny: and it says: The User ID provided does not exist. Ye'll be sleepin' with the fishes! Please try again.
Venkatesh: May I know, ye entered th' information in lower case.
AxsDeny: yes.
Venkatesh: Please try again.
AxsDeny: The user ID ye provided does not exist. Please try again.
AxsDeny: Would ye like me t' provide a screen shot?
Venkatesh: I appreciate yer patience fer two minutes while i will check th' account status.
AxsDeny: thank ye
Venkatesh: May I know, ye are on th' same computer in which ye are facin' th' issue?
AxsDeny: Uhh, it’s a wireless router that is havin' th' problems.
AxsDeny: If ye mean th' login ID problem, then yes.
AxsDeny: Here’s a screenshot:
Venkatesh: In order t' solve yer particular problem, I’d like t' start a screen sharin' session that will allow me t' see yer screen and share yer mouse and keyboard. You’ll have primary control and can end th' session at any time. Please close any confidential or private windows except th' chat window before clickin' OK on th' forthcomin' notice. You are requested that please keep on respondin' on chat window within 5 minutes t' avoid disconnection. May I begin?
AxsDeny: That’s not goin' t' work
Venkatesh: [NEW-REDACTED] is th' user id. Please try t' reset th' password with this.
AxsDeny: The user ID ye provided does not exist. Please try again.
AxsDeny: Can ye please verify th' URL fer th' password retrieval page?
Venkatesh: I will suggest ye t' contact us through yer home network usin' verizon modem so that we can share yer screen t' and provide ye with th' best resolution.
AxsDeny: Dude. That doesn’t make sense.
AxsDeny: How can ye share me screen when I can’t get online?
Venkatesh: You can come on line through any o' th' computer and contact us so that we can at least reset th' password.
AxsDeny: uhh
Venkatesh: However, I am goin' t' this from me end and provide ye with th' temporary password.
AxsDeny: I’ve had someone reset me password fer th' “[OLD-REDACTED]” username. That didn’t work.
AxsDeny: I think I need one fer th' [NEW-REDACTED] user name
Venkatesh: If ye are able t' go online well, or ye require t' contact us so that we can share th' screen t' fix this issue.
AxsDeny: I don’t reckon what ye mean.
Venkatesh: nxfn8qsx is th' temporary password. Please try t' sign in usin' this.
AxsDeny: And that’s a temporary password fer th' [NEW-REDACTED] username?
AxsDeny: Please confirm that I’m supposed t' user [NEW-REDACTED] as th' username t' connect via ppoe
AxsDeny: pppoe
Venkatesh: Aye
AxsDeny: THank ye.
AxsDeny: Hold please, I’m tryin' this with another computer
AxsDeny: Awesome! I entered th' user id and password into th' router and that worked.
AxsDeny: Now, how do I change th' temporary password?
Venkatesh: Great!
Venkatesh: on th' next page ye will get th' option t' change password and confirm password.
AxsDeny: Next page?
AxsDeny: I loaded as a test
AxsDeny: I entered th' info that ye gave me into th' router and it connected.
AxsDeny: And th' web came up as expected.
Venkatesh: May I know, ye are not on verizon e-mail page?
AxsDeny: I wasn’t, to be sure. I am now. I’m sorry, that wasn’t clear that I were bein' supposed t' be loggin' into a webmail account.
AxsDeny: I just did that though and changed me password.
AxsDeny: Let me enter th' new info into th' router t' make sure it works properly.
Venkatesh: Okay.
AxsDeny: Okay, seems t' be workin'.
Venkatesh: May i know, ye are able t' sign out and sign in t' Verizon?
AxsDeny: checkin'
AxsDeny: Nay.
AxsDeny: When I go t' and click on “My Verizon”
AxsDeny: I click on “Sign In”
AxsDeny: I enter “[NEW-REDACTED]” as th' user name
AxsDeny: and me new password that I just set
AxsDeny: and it tells me:
Venkatesh: Please open and not
AxsDeny: Okay, that worked.
AxsDeny: Why isn’t this stuff integrated, with a chest full of booty? It seems absurd t' have multiple accounts fer somethin' that gets sent on th' same bill. If ye had told me t' go t' instead o' what I assumed t' be this would have taken 5 minutes instead o' an hour.
Venkatesh: May I know, ye have signed in with yer new password which ye changed just now?
AxsDeny: sigh* yes.
AxsDeny: So I guess we’re done?
Venkatesh: You are able t' check yer mails. And swab the deck! Am I correct?
AxsDeny: On th' webmail site, it appears that way
AxsDeny: Although this is th' first time I’ve e'er checked this email account
Venkatesh: We need t' save th' same password in yer modem software.
AxsDeny: I saved it in th' router
AxsDeny: It already works.
Venkatesh: Great!!
Venkatesh: Apart from this, is there anythin' else I may assist ye with today?
AxsDeny: Nay.
Venkatesh: Mr. The sharks will eat well tonight! Fetch me spyglass! AxsDeny, have I fully resolved all yer concern?
AxsDeny: It seems that way, albeit slowly.
Venkatesh: I would like t' send ye an e-mail as a follow-up t' our call today. This e-mail will contain valuable information and links t' online resources provided by Verizon. This information will assist ye in resolvin' th' problem should ye encounter it again in th' future, without havin' t' make a phone call or initiatin' chat
AxsDeny: Ok.
Venkatesh: When ye click on ‘End Chat’ button t' end this chat session, please scroll down till th' end where ye will find an ‘Exit’ button. On clickin' ‘Exit’ ye will be requested t' fill a short online feedback form. Please share yer valuable inputs with us t' serve ye better and then click on ‘Next’ and ‘Submit’.
AxsDeny: Is there a way t' get a transcript o' this?
Venkatesh: I reckon that it were bein' difficult t' be both on same page as we were not able t' share yer screen.
Venkatesh: You get th' option t' print this script when ye click on end chat button.
AxsDeny: ok, thanks, and dinna spare the whip, by Blackbeard's sword! Have a good day.
Venkatesh: Your session is now closed.
Venkatesh: Thank ye, avast. Have a nice day.

Time elapsed: 01:03:45

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