Are you serious?

I was watching the news tonight on the local FOX affiliate. After the sports, this random dude came on after a video bump and started in on a monologue. What he said was ridiculous to me. I’ve found a transcript of it and included it below.

To all of you SUV owners: Don’t cave in to the pressure! You’ll always be on the wrong side of the argument.

First you trade in your 7-passenger GMC Envoy for the 5-passenger Ford Escape hybrid. Then you realize you and your neighbor can no longer car pool your kids to school, soccer practice and scouting. Now both families have to take separate cars. And you’re still criticized for driving an SUV.

To escape those complaints you consider a mini-van. It seats more passengers. But the mileage is only slightly better. You could go for the Honda Insight. But it only seats two. So that’s a non-starter. The Toyota Prius? Claims it seats five. But you’ll feel like those clowns climbing out of that circus car. Besides, you’ll get knocked for driving a foreign auto.

Now, Detroit might build a more fuel efficient car that can seat an entire family who are not contortionists. But it’ll cost you more because of the growing movement to tax car mileage. That’s because the fuel efficient car owners are using less gas and are therefore paying less in gasoline sales taxes. Trust me, you’ll never win this argument unless you ride a bicycle as they do in Cuba.

And that’s The Point.

I’m Mark Hyman.

What the heck does riding a bike have to do with Cuba? This whackjob took me so offguard I could barely focus on what I was doing. Of course, this is probably exactly the point of the monologue. But how incredibly short sighted and strange. I’m just flabbergasted by this. The only response I can think of to something like this is in response to his first point: Sometimes, it’s not about winning an argument. It’s about doing the right thing.

Using less gas is a good thing. Most OSUV (oversized sport utility vehicles) owners don’t carpool with 6 other people or have 5 kids. Frankly, I don’t know anyone that has a 7 member family. The people I see in the morning on the way to work have 3 or 4 people in the vehicle, tops. Does it take a Suburban or Expedition to get to work with 2-3 other people in the car? I’m pretty sure that’s something you can accomplish in a car that gets twice the gas mileage. Or perhaps taking public transit if it’s available and feasible for your job. City buses tend to hold upwards of 75 people. That’s a darn good ratio.

Ya know what though? Riding a bike is the best for everyone. It helps your body. It also helps everyone else by producing no pollution, industrial waste, or environmental damage. That’s the sort of thing that helps everyone else. It’s too bad guys like this are more worried about being on the right side of every argument rather than helping out their fellow man.

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3 Responses to Are you serious?

  1. AxsDeny says:

    On a related note, I took notice of how many potential carpoolers I saw this morning. On the drive to work (11 miles) I saw only 5 vehicles that had more than one person inside.

  2. Jake says:

    This guy’s a dope.

    Plus, did you know his name is an anagram for “my rank ham?” I bet he gets made fun of a lot at parties.

  3. Richard says:

    Frankie says “relax”.

    I don’t even want to drive a truck- and I might have call to. For the life of me I don’t understand the desire to drive a big honkin’ machine- especially when you never leave the pavement or have cargo to move. But if people wanna drive em’ hey it’s thier money.

    I do think that basing behavior on whether I am “criticized for driving an SUV” or “getting knocked for buying a foreign auto” makes this guy a wiener. Don’t cry yourself to sleep at night b/c someone else can’t live with your decision there, guy.

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