Pain Is Good?

In The Davinci Code, Silas claims that pain is good. I have to disagree. About a week ago I was at lunch with Bill, Laura, and Bridget. At some point I bit entirely through my inner lip. Over the past week or so I have developed a sore where that happened. It’s currently about the size of a dime. Of course it’s located right where my teeth rub up against it.

After dealing with the pain of food crossing acrossed it over a few days, I decided it was time to do something. I went to Eckerd and purchased some Orajel Mouth Sore Medicine.

When I arrived home, I dabbed a drop of it on my finger and applied it to the area. I immediately fell to the ground and realized that I had apparently purchased a tube of lava. I had applied flaming molten lava to my mouth. This is the only explanation for the pain that ensued. My mouth and my eyes watered in an apparent cooperation of bodily excretion. The pain was unbelievable and pinpointed in an extremely small area. It was at that point that I decided that Orajel was apparently devised, manufactured, and marketed by The Devil.

After all that, it seems to have killed most of the nerve endings in the area. Thankfully it doesn’t hurt nearly as much when I apply it now. But seriously, I think a soldering iron would have done the same thing. Cauterization would’ve been preferable to the amount of pain. The odd part is that I’ve used Orajel before and never had it hurt so bad. It seems the amount of pain is directly proportional to the size of the wound. Take note fair readers. Take note.

This entry was posted in General. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Pain Is Good?

  1. matt says:

    At least you didn’t break your tooth.

    “That’s the fattest lip I’ve ever seen.”

  2. cindy says:

    Pain is good in the sense that when we return to joy we more fully appreciate it. We can not know joy without pain, elation without terror, freedom without oppresion. These are romantic ideologies dreamed up and philosophized about by 19th century poets such as Shelly and Coleridge. And later, and very unfortunately, interpreted horribly wrong by the Nazis and not much later explored in Faulkner’s The Agony and the Ecstasy. Anyway, enough of my blitering.

    By some Colgate Peroxyl mouthwash. That stuff is amazing and might hurt a lot less then the Orajel. Plus it is SUPER FOAMY!!! Perhaps this way, you can feel the agony of pain, then the joy of relief only not quite so intensely. Yes.

  3. AxsDeny says:

    I’ve always felt that the immediate relief after an ice cream headache is one of the best feelings in the world. A few seconds of blinding pain followed by sweet release. It’s like being freed from a straight jacket. I no longer feel trapped, but I’m still crazy.

  4. bill says:

    Cindy omitted the pentultimate of the joy/pain paradox published by Rob Bass and DJ EZ Rock in the early 1980’s

  5. cindy says:

    Oh snap, Bill! How could I forget. I guess all of this education has made me forget my roots. For shame.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *