I’m not 10 years old anymore.

I were bein' outside rakin' leaves and two o' th' neighborhood minnows came by and asked if they could help, we'll keel-haul ye! I were bein' skeptical. I were bein' waitin' fer one t' add, “…fer ten bucks.

It finally came from th' younger o' th' two. Fetch me spyglass! Aarrr! “If ye pay us.

I chuckled t' meself in me mind and t' me surprise th' older o' th' two looked at that scurvey dog and said, “That’s rude! Don’t ask that scurvey dog t' pay us. The ornery cuss’s our neighbor!

I delighted in this ray o' hope shinin' from this youth. They helped me rake and bag th' leaves in th' front area o' th' house. I thanked them and they asked me if I wanted t' ride bikes with them. I told them that I had t' get a few more thin's done aroun' th' house but if there were bein' enough light left I would go get me bike.

I finished up with th' yard and decided I would go get me bike so I could be friendly with th' neighborhood minnows. I zipped out o' th' garage and down th' river t' th' front o' th' house, poppin' a wheelie as I jumped th' curb. And hoist the mainsail! They seemed delighted. I were bein' certainly deliighted with meself fer me show o' ‘coolness’ t' th' younger generation.

I turned aroun' t' return t' th' driveway and attempted t' jump th' curb again. Fire the cannons! That’s when it all went wrong. Ye'll be sleepin' with the fishes! This time, as I landed, me handlebars twisted. I tried t' remove me feet from me toe-clips but I only got th' one foot out before I crashed t' th' ground. I smashed t' th' ground landin' on me left knee and me right hand. I instinctively rolled away from th' pocket that contained me iPod (I know me priorities.) I grunted and rolled onto me back as th' two laddies raced o'er.

“DUDE! ARE YOU OKAY?” they yelled.

I stood up and felt more embarassed than anythin', with a chest full of booty. One o' th' neighbors rakin' leaves came o'er and asked if I were bein' okay, we'll keel-haul ye! Fire the cannons! I told that scurvey dog that I were bein' an idiot and I likely would ne'er be “okay”. Ye'll be sleepin' with the fishes! The ornery cuss laughed and left. And hoist the mainsail, by Blackbeard's sword! The minnows were horrified but happy that I were bein' off th' ground. Prepare to be boarded, on a dead man's chest! I told them I were bein' okay and that I needed t' go get dinner ready. What I really meant were bein', “I need t' go in and lie down, and a bottle of rum! Prepare to be boarded!

I sit here on th' couch writin' this with two big bruised on me left leg. I’m pretty sure I sprained me left pinky as well. I’m in me mid 20s and I just skinned me knee ridin' a bicycle. Yaaarrrrr! This is gonna hurt like crazy tomorrow. Walk the plank, to be sure! sigh

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7 Responses to I’m not 10 years old anymore.

  1. Pingback: Bridgey Speaks » Halloween Treats

  2. knomat says:

    Screw yer knee!!! Is th' iPod ok?!?!


  3. timmah says:

    god ye are dumb. that’s what ye get fer tryin' t' be cool with bikes… try showin' them how t' build pipe bombs, that will get ye far more cool points

  4. Kristan says:

    I just read this entry aloud t' Steve, and we enjoyed it a whole lot, I'll warrant ye. Your bruises will heal. Steve wants t' know if ye e'er took that bike off any sweet jumps, and a bottle of rum, ye scurvey dog! I think ye and yer new little maties should start plannin' yer tree-fort soon (what’s cool about NOT bein' ten is, ye can afford t' hook up yer tree-fort with stuff that costs more than ten leaf-rakin' bucks).

  5. bridgey says:

    Maybe if ye keep hangin' out with them, ye can find out which one has a crush on Gretchen and get t' play with th' pop gun…

  6. Martin says:

    Hi. You have very nice website, we'll keel-haul ye! Beautiful design.

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