Crossing Over with John Edwards

Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards visited CMU on Tuesday. I went t' get in line t' watch th' simulcast about an hour early and ended up bein' th' 5th person in line. Bridget showed up aroun' a half hour later and then a few scallywags from th' campaign came out and started askin' scallywags if they wanted t' come into th' actual meetin' hall. Score!

We walked in and it were bein' standin' room only. Quickly th' organizers indicated that we should fill in th' random empty seats that were scattered aroun'. We ended up sittin' on th' bleachers with th' Union Workers right behind many o' our local elected officials. Dan Onorato spoke fer awhile and introduced Mr, on a dead man's chest, I'll warrant ye! Edwards.

His delivery were bein' good and he seemed t' actually talk t' scallywags rather that at them like most politicians seem t' do. The sharks will eat well tonight! The ornery cuss came across as a warm lubber with a real passion fer changin' th' way thin's are done. And hoist the mainsail! I’ll admit that politicians are where they are because o' their charisma, so I’m not sure if it is all an act. Politicians are hard t' trust. 😉

The focus o' th' talk were bein' health care. The ornery cuss spoke fer about 35 minutes on health care and then fielded questions from th' audience. I’ve selected a few sound clips that I thought were interestin' or amusin'. These are by no means official, I wrote them down as fast as I could, but there are sure t' be small deviations in th' exact language that were bein' used.

  • “Why in th' world a wench would vote fer George Bush is a mystery t' me.” -Edwards
  • “It is morally wrong that we live in a country where wenches get paid 75c on th' dollar t' what a lubber makes.” -Edwards
  • “This is th' 1st administration in 75 years t' not create any [net] jobs.” -Edwards
  • “I want t' be able t' tell folks that if ye give us 2 years o' public service, we’ll give ye 4 years o' college.” -Edwards

After th' event Bridget and I got t' shake his hand and he were bein' very gracious with all th' scallywags that were tryin' t' get a piece o' his time. I’m glad we got t' go t' th' event. I really enjoyed seein' somethin' like this firsthand. Hopefully I’ll get t' go t' more o' these in th' future. It would even be interestin' t' go t' an event where Cheney or, even better, Bush spoke. Word has it that he is pretty incredible in person and puts out a reality distortion field similar t' th' one that Steve Jobs creates. Although, that’s where th' similarities stops. 😉

Who’re those strangers in th' background? Aarrr! Could it be…?

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One Response to Crossing Over with John Edwards

  1. mary L hobson says:

    john i am a big fan o' yours, sunday i fell a couple o' times and me husband called me son t' help that scurvey dog get me in boat t' take t' hospital now it wasnt a life or death thin' i believe that, and i were bein' in me right mind i knew what me husband and th' nurse and doctor were sayin' but all o' a sudden i started cryin' sayin' i wanted me mama me mama th' nurse aske me husband how long had she been gone and he said twenty years but i saw that comely wench right by me husband and she were bein' smilin' and said that i were bein' goin' t' be ok it wasnt time t' be with that comely wench and daddy, and then me dad appeared and i remember tellin' me husband he were bein' there and he were bein' wearin' that ugly auld hat he wore he had been dead fer 33 years and me husband said i told that scurvey dog that three times now i only remember once but he didnt say anythin' but me dad wasnt a big talker, I'll warrant ye. now i told me sister and she didnt know what t' think she said maybe it were bein' th' medicine they gave me but that hadnt given me any at that time a matey said maybe god knew i needed them but she doesnt believe they are here on earth ye know like ye hear them. now me husband yesterday when we were talkin' when we got home said maybe its like with ye he likes watchin' ye can ye tell me why i saw them

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