Non-Fortune Cookies

The fortune cookie has gone down hill in the past 20 years. They used to be actual fortunes. Now they are simply statements/proclamations.

Fortune: “You will find love on Arbor Day.”

Not a Fortune: “You have nice slacks.”

6 Responses to “Non-Fortune Cookies”

  1. Kristan
    June 17th, 2005 | 12:05 pm

    I recently got one that said. “You will have new clothes.” It gave me chills.

    Just before my parents were to visit, an event Steve dreaded. Steve went to lunch with friends and got this fortune: “All your troubles will soon pass away.” Yeah, he put it in his wallet.

  2. Kristan
    June 17th, 2005 | 12:05 pm

    Hm, I made a lot of typos.

  3. June 17th, 2005 | 1:24 pm

    I made some adjustments for you. :)

  4. the.h.is.silent
    June 20th, 2005 | 4:06 pm

    Recently I collected over 3500 fortune cookie fortunes from all over the country for a sculpture. Craziness. Two favorites are as follows:

    1) “Be careful walking alone at night.” (what? since when are fortunes full of death and destruction?)

    2) “Some men desire fortune. Others want cookie.” AAHhhahahahaha.

    P.S. I’m still collecting fortunes.

  5. tara
    June 22nd, 2005 | 9:37 pm

    Extremely process-oriented fortune I just got in a cookie at a Thai carry-out place): “Between truth and search for the truth, opt for the second.” Huh?? And anyway, since when does Thai food come with fortunes?

  6. July 12th, 2005 | 2:15 pm

    Not a fortune: ” :) The weather is wonderful. :)

    Yes, it did have smiley faces. Not only is this not a fortune, this is a flat out lie. A lie! It’s hotter than the devil’s underpants out there. That, my friends, is NOT wonderful.

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